Critters (1986)
Directed by Stephen Herek
Written by Stephen Herek, Don Keith Opper and Domonic Muir
Starring: Dee Wallace Stone, M. Emmet Walsh, Scott Grimes, Don Keith Opper, Billy Zane, Lin Shaye, Terrence Mann
In terms of childhood favorites Critters is right up there with No Retreat, No Surrender. Critters is the story of a band of cantankerous intergalactic fugitives (Crites) who hijack a space ship and crash land outside a Kansas farm. They are pursued by two bounty hunters who will let nothing get in their way. Did I mention that the carnivorous Crites are nothing more than small fur balls with hundred of teeth and heir only goal in life is to eat everything.
What makes this flick so damn awesome is that it has a bit of everything, there is Sci-Fi, Horror, Comedy, Family Drama, Town Politics, Aliens, Exploding Bowling Alleys, 3 Sequels…
Terrence Mann rules as Ug, the lead bounty hunter who models his appearance (in a particularly gruesome scene) on a rock star he sees on TV. His partner swaps visages throughout the film (with some humorous results). The star of the film is Brad Brown (Scott Grimes) a teenager who likes to build fireworks, hates chores and love to antagonize his sister. He is best friends with the farm’s handy man, the drunken Charlie (Don Keith Opper (who appears in every Critters movie)). The crux of the film is the Critter’s assault on the Brown family farm which owe much to Assault on Precinct 13.
I recommend this flick, it offers so much and asks so little… plus it has a young Billy Zane in his 2nd feature film. You can tell that Herek and his crew had a blast making this flick and it’s a blast to watch, I’m even a fan of the 3 sequels. Critters is the bastard child of Gremlins and E.T. with a shot of Invaders From Mars. Plus you can pick the DVD up on the cheap (or rent it from TLA).
The Hospital (1971)
Directed by: Arthur Hiller
Written by: Paddy Chayefsky
Starring: George C. Scott, Diana Rigg
Doctors becoming patients, Nurses killing patients (who happen to be doctors), Naked Indian witch doctors, George C. Scott drun on vodka rapes a patients daughter, Chayefsky!!! The Hospital features all this and so much more.
Scott plays Dr. Herbert Bock a suicidal, drunken chief of staff in a hospital full of more monkeys than your local zoo. The film is 24 hours in his life at the hospital from hell. Outside its walls a protest grows ever more violent. Inside, Bock rules over the nurses and doctors (who’s staggering number makes it hard to know who is who). 3 members of Staff end up dead and a riot f protesters nearly breaks out. All this plot is moved forward with the dialog and pacing that Chayefsky brings to everything he has written.
While Marty is claimed to be his greatest work, I disagree. For my money, the middle section of The Hospital is his best writing. It is a 20 minute dialog between Diana Rigg and George C. Scott culminating in his sexual assault of her, though it’s not mean spirited… it’s out of desperation, a last act before his suicide. The scene illustrates why Chayesky is the best screenswriter/playwright ever. So stop reading, and run to the nearest video store (hopefully TLA video on 1520 Locust St. Philadelphia, PA… and while you’re there renting The Hospital, stop by and see me… I’m the guy with the filmstrip tattoo.)
Rush Hour 3 (2007)
Directed by Brett Ratner
Written by Jeff Nathanson
Starring Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan
I liked the original Rush Hour. I thought it was an entertaining buddy cop movie and I thought that Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan made a great comedic team. I liked the action and the stunts. I enjoyed the second film, it was bigger and had more of what I liked about the original. Rush Hour 3 however, well I didn’t think it was that great.
Rush Hour 3 serves as a bookend to the trilogy. We are reintroduced to characters from the original film, notably Consul Han (played by Tzi Ma) and his now grown up daughter Soo Yung (the gorgeous Jingchu Zhang). The plot revolves around an assassination attempt on Consul Han by the Triads. It seems Han knows who the leader of the Triads are and he intends to stop their criminal organization.
The script by Jeff Nathanson sets everything up but then fails to have any real payoffs. There are back-stories that are never explored (what exactly did happen between Carter and Lee in New York? They mention it every 10 minutes but the audience is never privy to the information). How does Lee all of a sudden have a brother and why do they hate each other so much? The script seems to think that isn’t pertinent information. Nathanson is the guy who wrote The Terminal, Rush Hour 2, Catch Me If You Can and is a credited writer on Indy 4. He has some serious writing credits under his belt but it seems like he phoned in the screenplay based off of his outline for Rush Hour 2.
Character wise, Lee and Carter are the same as they have always been. Although now they seem derivative and uninspired, like pale shadows of there former selves. The villains, including Kenji (Lee’s brother) are cookie cutter villains. It’s like a cliffs notes version of antagonists. Max Von Sydow is here and oh, how the mighty have fallen. He plays an uninteresting riff of his character from Minority Report. It was actually painful to watch. Character/actor wise the best moment was Roman Polanski who shows up for a small role. Watching him here makes me smile, his character was easily my favorite part of the flick (but that could be because he is one of my favorite directors… maybe I’m playing favoritism).
The action was weak compared to the previous movies and the fight scenes were, for the most part, boring. The only time I was actually enjoying myself was the moment that the flick spoofs The Godfather, the action that follows was pretty cool and enjoyable. Jackie Chan is definitely showing his age. The first two films had him doing all sorts of crazy stunts, here, he barely does anything, and what he does do shows signs of obvious wire work and blue screen. Speaking of which, the flick is littered with shoddy CGI and bad blue screen work (there is a chance what I saw wasn’t a finished cut, at least once a CG shot was still rough and had Timecode running at the top), so maybe the FX will be fixed for the release.
Besides action the Rush Hour movies have always had a healthy dose of humor, and that is intact here (but there is a lot more potty humor this time around). I did find myself chuckling through the flick. Tucker does what he does best, playing himself and showing off his dance skills. I did hate the “Who’s on First?” rip off… I mean they basically did the skit verbatim, just with different names.
And now I come to Brett Ratner, who once again proves that he is a generic filmmaker with no sense of originality. I mean, the movie is set in Paris, one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and yet he shoots it in a way that makes it look ugly, and boring. Even the Eiffel Tower becomes bland and ugly, when he shoots it. Brett I have to ask… did you go out of your way to make Paris ugly?
In the end I guess I half liked the movie. Is it worth seeing? Well that’s a tough question for me to answer because I personally think that every movie should be seen. Even the worst films ever made have small bits and pieces that are enjoyable, and it’s not exactly torture to watch a movie. I guess if you are a fan of the first two you’ll find stuff to like. If you hated the others than there is nothing here for you. If you want to see a good summer buddy cop movie… I’d personally steer you elsewhere. I consider this a rental, or at the most a matinee.
No Retreat, No Surrender (1986)
Directed by Coery Yuen
Written by See-Yuen Ng, Corey Yuen, Keith W. Strandberg
Starring Kurt McKinney, Jean-Claude Van Damme, J.W. Fails, Tai Chung Kim
Best. Movie. Ever. Ok, so it really isn’t but this was my favorite movie growing up (beating Critters by a smidge). This is an 80’s gem that needs to be seen. It was released by the now defunct New World Pictures (the same company that released Dead Heat) and features the first major role of Jean-Claude
Van Damme.
The plot revolves around the Stillwell family. Tom (the father) is owner and teacher of a karate school. His son Jason is a student who seems to learn more from Bruce Lee movies than his father. In comes some Mafioso who is trying to bully Tom into closing his school. When Tom resists the Mafioso unleashes Ivan (Van Damme) in the fight between Tom and Ivan, Tom’s leg is broken.
A few months later the Stillwell’s have moved to Seattle to start fresh. Jason has trouble making friends until he meets R.J. Madison (with full on jeri curl and Michael Jackson dance moves). From here on out the flick becomes a teen movie with Jason trying to fit in and failing. He still tries to practice karate but when his father finds out, he bans Jason from the sport. Jason runs away to an abandoned house where the ghost of Bruce Lee (Tai Chung Kim) offers to train him. Under Sensei Lee, Jason’s skills begin to blossom. At this point the training montage kicks in.
The film ends with a Karate exhibition with the US Karate Team, unfortunately the mafia with Ivan in tow crash the party. Ivan blows through the US team and challenges anyone in the audience. The new and improved Jason enters the ring to gain revenge and his father’s honor. Of course all of the training he received is put to the test in this fight. Jason holds his own until Ivan begins fighting dirty. As he starts to lose R.J. screams from the audience “Jason! No retreat, no Surrender!” (just typing those words give me goosebumps, it’s such an awesome (and random) moment ). Jason regains his strengt, defeats Ivan, and proves himself, not only to his father but also to everyone who doubted him.
The flick was directed by Coery Yuen who has done everything, from fight choreography to acting. He has become a prominent director with such films as “The Transporter” and “Legend of the Red Dragon”. Tai Chung Kim, playing Bruce Lee, actually doubled for Bruce Lee in “Game of Death”. Kurt McKinney, who plays Jason, is an accomplished kickboxer who has starred mainly in soap operas and made for TV movies.
Since this is a gem from my childhood I refuse to acknowledge any faults in it. I know that they are there but this flick takes me back to simpler times. I highly recommend it if only because of its kitsch value but it is one hell of an entertaining movie.
Emperor of the North Pole (1973)
Directed by Robert Aldrich
Written by Christopher Knopf
Starring Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine and Keith Carradin… also look for a Sid Haig in a small role.
Lee Marvin vs. Ernest Borgnine. Hobo vs. Conductor. A #1 vs. Shack. Emperor of the North Pole is like the greatest boxing match in the world. Lee Marvin is the Muhammad Ali of Hollywood, the consummate tough guy and here he faces off against Ernest Borgnine… I mean come on he played Lt. Cmdr. Quinton McHale… he rode with William Holden in The Wild Bunch.
Marvin plays A #1 the king of hobos and Borgnine plays Shack a conductor who’s hobbies enjoy smashing hobos with a hammer. Then there is Cigarette played by Carradine, he is the young upstar, new to the hobo game and determined to prove himself to A #1. Together they are all embroiled in a game of wits as A #1 tries to ride the number 19 train (which Shack runs) and Cigarette tags along endangering A #1.
The film is a well crafted action/adventure from the same creative team that made The Dirty Dozen. Both Aldrich and Knopf are Hollywood heavy hitters. Aldrich was president of the DGA from 1975 – 1979 and Knopf was president of the WGAw from 1965 – 1967. Their collaboration here is wonderful. The cinematography by Joseph Biroc is great and the film was shot on the same railroad tracks as Buster Keaton’s The General. I highly recommend this flick.
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Directed by Len Wiseman
Written by Mark Bomback and David Marconi (writer of Enemy of the State). Based on the article ‘A Farewell to Arms” by John Carlin (which appeared in Wired Magazine). And as always with a Die Hard movie there is a credit to Roderick Thorp who wrote the novel on which the original film was based.
Starring Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Maggie Q, and Timothy Olyphant
When I started to write these movie reviews I made a decision to mainly review films that are already released on DVD, mainly because I don’t get to the theaters that often and when I decide to review something I like to watch it a few times. Anyway, when I do see a film in the theaters I will review it. Disclaimer out of the way, let’s talk about (well you’ll be reading) “Live Free or Die Hard”. Is John McClane back? Does Justin Long make a worth ‘buddy’? Does the PG-13 rating make a difference? Is it even a ‘Die Hard’ flick?
The original Die Hard was released in 1988 at the time it kick started the ‘everyman hero’ genre a striking counterpoint to the Schwarzenegger and Stallone films where the heroes are seemingly invincible. John McClane was a flawed human with real problems who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and stepped up to the challenge not because he wanted to but because it was the right thing to do. The action in the original wasn’t as flashy as the action in films today (see The Transporter). The emphasis in 1988 was on character not set-pieces. That’s not to say that Die Hard didn’t have big moments, it’s just that in between the characters motivated every piece of action.
Now almost 20 years after the original film we have Live Free or Die Hard which feels like a Die Hard film, and looks like one but lacks a little of the heart and character that the original had. John McClane is a leaner, older, angrier man than when we last saw him. He has also lost that everyman quality. Now feats like leaping from an exploding building with a fire hose wrapped around his waist seems like a hobby for the new John McClane.
The plot this time revolves around cyber-terrorists which isn’t as interesting as it looks, lets face it watching people type is lame and un-cinematic. In fact my biggest complaint with the film is the villains… they seem so bland. It’s sad when I feel like I could kick a villain’s ass. Nothing against Timothy Olyphant I thought he did a great job with the character that he was given it’s just he’s not very menacing. In the original Hans Gruber kills 2 men in cold blood. Here the villain’s most menacing moments consist of snarling into a radio or into a webcam.
I was wary of Justing Long, I like him in comedy’s and I like him in Mac commercials but I just wasn’t sure that he could be a worth sidekick. My fears were unfounded and he brings a great amount of comedy and character to the movie. Bruce Willis is awesome as always and he brings a few great moments to the film, especially the scene where he bemoans his heroism’s of the past and the cost that they have wrought. The weakest link in the films cast is Kevin Smith (I love you as a writer/director, and I love when you act in your own films but you just didn’t bring anything to the table here). He plays, pretty much, a caricature of himself. I don’t blame you for taking the role, I just think the character itself was flawed and I don’t think you brought anything exciting to it.
The film is glossy and flashy which is to be expected from Len Wiseman. He is a great technical filmmaker and he makes some great action set pieces here, I just think it’s a bit too flashy. The score by Marco Beltrami is great and the editing is top notch (way to go Nicolas De Toth).
In the end it’s a great summer movie. A good Action film. And a reasonable Die Hard flick (only without swearing and blood).
The Brave (1997)
Directed by Johnny Depp
Written by Paul McCudden, Johnny Depp and D.P. Depp
Based on the novel by Gregory McDonald (who also wrote the Fletch novels)
This, unreleased in America flick, is Johnny Depp’s debut as writer/director. Shown at Cannes in 1997 it was well received by European audiences but panned by American critics. Depp backlashed by vowing to never release it in the states. You can track down region 0 copies of the film through ebay, and I think you should because it shows another side of Depp’s creativity, one which I believe to be a flawed success.
Depp plays Raphael a down on his luck Native American who has just been released from prison. He is a 3 time loser trying to do good for his family. His family and friends all live in abject poverty in a trash dump, which is set to be destroyed by construction. In an attempt to finally do something for his family Raphael accepts $50,000 which will allow his family to rise above poverty and have a chance at a life… of course to get the money he had to sell himself to a snuff film producer (played by Brando in a brief cameo) who intends on making him the ’star’ of his next film.
The film is far from perfect but I found it to be amazing. I think think that Depp was doing too much and couldn’t divide his attention. I think that if he had chosen to just direct or just act this film would bed amazing. As it stands it’s good, but it could be so much better.
Anyone familiar with Depp’s celebrity friendships and his collaborations with other filmmakers will sense them in this flick. Jim Jarmusch is especially felt as Depp fuses existentialism and spirituality to create the tone of the film. The cinematography is pretty good and there are some great dolly shots (especially in the amusement park scene) and the score, by Iggy Pop (who makes a cameo), is amazing and the performances by Clarence Williams III and Floyd ‘Red Cow’ Westerman are equally impressive.
The Public Enemy (1931)
Directed by William Wellman
Written by Kubec Glasmon, John Bright and Harvey Thew
James Cagney controls the screen (and literally dodges machine gun bullets) in this pre-Hay’s Code gangster film. Cagney plays Tom Powers a good for nothing kid who becomes a good for nothing bootlegger. Tom is juxtaposed by his brother Mike (played by Donald Cook), who is an upstanding citizen with a normal job and who has just enlisted in the marines.
The film is violent but not gratuitous (although it was considered shocking in its day). Cagney plunges head first into the role and sets a model every gangster flick hat followed. His rise and fall is generic now but at the time it was new and exciting. If nothing else you should see this film just to watch Cagney chew through his scenes like they were grapefruit.
Offsetting Cagney is Jean Harlow, fresh off her performance in Howard Hughes’ ‘Hell’s Angels’. She shows a depth and understanding of her character as well as some suitable acting chops. though her role as Tom’s main girl is small, her performance is anything but. Other notable actors are Leslie Fenton as Nails Nathan, the ring leader of the mob that Tom employs and Murray Kinnell as Putty Nose, Tom’s first criminal mentor.
Public Enemy also features one of the greatest finales in all of cinema history. Tom’s mother excited by the news that he is coming home from the hospital begins to prepare a room for him. There is a knock on the door and Mike answers it. Standing limp is Tom’s dead body which quickly drops to the floor. Killed by his enemies Tom leaves the film and leaves Mike to tell his mother. It is a powerful scene and should not be missed.
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Directed by Stuart Rosenberg
Written by Donn Pearce (From his novel)
Starring Paul Newman, George Kennedy, Strother Martin, Harry Dean Stanton
Rivaling Stanley Kowalski (A Streetcar Named Desire), Luke is in the forefront of the greatest anti-hero competition. Here is a man who would not conform and is thus set free. Cool Hand Luke is a film filled with religious and existential imagery and themes. It is also one of the best films ever made.
Newman plays Luke, sent to a Florida prison for cutting the heads off of parking meters. Once there he begins escape attempts and any other tomfoolery he can muster. The other inmates, including Dragline (played by George Kennedy who won a best supporting Oscar), begin looking up to him. They see his escape as their own. If he can get out, that’s just as good as them escaping themselves.
Cool Hand Luke is bursting at the seams with great scenes and moments. The infamous car wash scene being one of my favorites (hey, I’m a man and Joy Harmon is one of the sexiest women that ever existed). There is also the Egg sequence (most recently spoofed in the TV show Jackass).
Newman’s performance is one of restrained chaos. To me Luke hates conformity but he also hates the pain that not conforming brings him. Newman had been building up to a character like this in previous roles and here he tears a hole right through the screen and delivers a performance that needs to be seen. You should definitely check this flick out, if nothing else than for that “old Luke smile. Old Luke, he was come boy. Cool Hand Luke. Hell, he’s a natural-born world-shaker.”
Intruder (1989)
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Directed by Scott Spiegel
Written by Scott Spiegel with a Story by Lawrence Bender
Starring Elizabeth Cox, Sam and Ted Raimi, Burr Steers, Renee Estevez (sister of Emilio), Dan Hicks, Bruce Campbell, Lawrence Bender
With Special FX and Make-Up by K.N.B. (I believe this was their first movie)
Not to over dramatize things but this may be the most important movie in the last 20 years. Before I get into how kick ass this movie is let me just break down the relationships that this movie holds to a list of films to large to… well list.
#1 K.N.B. those wonderful crazy kids responsible for the FX in movies like, Evil Dead 1 and 2, Army of Darkness, Hostel 1 and 2, every Tarantino movie, every Robert Rodriguez movie since El Mariachi… seriously these guys are major players.
#2 Scott Spiegel introduced Lawrence Bender to Quentin Tarantino… thus allowing Reservoir Dogs to get made. He also attended High School with Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi. He used to share a house with Joel and Ethan Coen, Sam Raimi, Holly Hunter, Frances McDormand and Kathy Bates. Is one of the founders of Raw Nerve LLC (along with Boaz Yankin and Eli Roth).
#3 Sam Raimi… come on this guy is responsible for the biggest trilogy ever (Spider-Man). Besides that he’s made several cult classics, everything from the Evil Dead trilogy to Darkman and he’s produced a truckload of successful films a TV shows (everything from The Grudge and the upcoming 30 Days of Night to the Hercules and Xena TV shows). I can honestly say that if I could hang out with any living celebrity it would be him (if I could resurrect the dead I would choose John Ford).
#4 Bruce Campbell the poster boy (well man) for cult awesomeness. Come on this is Ash. This is Brisco County. This is Elvis beating the shit out of Bubba Ho-Tep.
#5 Then there is Burr Steers who you may not have heard of… he is the writer/director of the wonderful Igby Goes Down. He also wrote How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. He also had a role in Pulp Fiction… (at the beginning when Vincent and Jules come to reclaim the briefcase, Steers plays the guy lounging on the sofa. Jules refers to him as ‘Flock of Seagulls’
#6 Lawrence Bender, producer extraordinaire, the man responsible for every Tarantino flick, An Inconvenient Truth, Good Will Hunting, The Chumscrubber, The Great Raid and many more.
Intruder is a slasher film about the night crew in a grocery store. There is a killer on the loose (naturally) who is preying upon the employees. What matters most of course is the kills and here they are inventive and humorous. Case in point one character gets hit on the head with a hammer as he starts to fall to the ground we cut to someone stocking sacks of potatoes, that person drops a sack. See humor.
What shines through is that this flick was made by a group of friends who throughly enjoyed what they were doing. The youthful exuberance pours off the screen with every frame. This was the first movie for a lot of people and you can just feel the fun they are having. This is balls-to-the-wall filmmaking at its finest. I highly recommend this flick it is one of my all time favorites and it is definitely worth renting.
Now just a quick side note. I want to hear from you, the reader. If you have seen any of the movies that I talk about, please leave a comment. If you hate one of these movies that’s cool, leave a comment saying so. If you just like the review leave a comment. If you hate every word I’ve written, comment and let me know. Are there any movies that you would like me to review leave a comment. Basically I want to hear what everyone is thinking. So please leave some comments. Thanks.
El Dia de la Bestia (1995)
Directed by Alex de la Iglesia
Written by Jorge Guerricaechevarria and Alex de la Iglesia
Starring Alex Angulo, Armando De Razza and Santiago Segura
El Dia de la Bestia or The Day of the Beast is the winner of 6 Goya awards (think Spanish Oscars) and it may be one of the most original films you see. Director Alex de la Iglesia is no stranger to dark comedy and here he runs rampant with tongue firmly planted in cheek.
The story is about a priest, Father Angel (played by Angulo) who discovered that the Apocalypse will begin on Christmas day in Madrid. Thus he embarks on a journey to stop the child of Satan from being born. But first he must become a sinner so that he can envoke Satan and discover the location of the birth. Joining him in his quest is the overweight, Heavy metal listening Jose Maria (played to perfection by Santiago Segura) and a TV psychic named Cavan (Armando De Razza). If you have ever seen Shaun of the Dead, the same style is used, the story is played straight but there is humor around every corner.
Alex de la Iglesia hammers the film with all the subtelty of a rabid elephant in a china shop but that’s his charm. He pulls some incredible shot, seemingly out of no where and he keeps the story moving at a madcap pace that Sam Raimi should envy (and take a few notes).
The flick doesn’t shy away from violence and there is some decent gore and some amazing effects (Satan just looks awesome). I highly recommend this flick. It is only available on VHS in the US but there are several Region 2 DVD’s floating around. This is definitely worth tracking down.
The Abductors (1972)
Directed by Don Schain (who now produces movie for the Disney Channel and is married to Cheri Caffaro)
Written by Don Schain and Liz Evans
Starring Cheri Caffaro (looking a bit like Brigitte Bardot), William Grannel, Laurie Rose, Richard Smedley
This falls into the so horrendous its ok category. This, the second, in the so called ‘Ginger’ trilogy is worth tracking down… especially if you plan on having a few drinks before watching it. The plot revolves around a super sexy swinging secret agent named Ginger (played by sexpot Cheri Caffaro), think of her as a female James Bond.
Ginger is called into duty to stop an evil mastermind who is kidnapping cheerleaders and selling them as sex slaves to rich business men… but first he has to “educate” them in the world of sexual satisfaction so that they will be worth their high price tag. The education takes the form of verbal and physical degradation. This “softcore” film features some decent SM themes.
Technically this flick is shit. It looks like it was shot through a pair of soiled underwear. There are horrible focus pulls and some of the worst zooming I’ve ever seen… but there is some charm here. The acting is relatively sub-par. Standouts include Jeramie Rain (from Last House on the Left fame), who plays one of the cheerleaders and William Grannel (who seems to be Judd Hirsch’s dopelganger) who plays Ginger’s boss, Jason Varone. The dialog ranges from awesome to painful and the flicks coda seems right out of an episode of Charlie’s Angels.
If you watch, looks for a brief cameo by ‘Deep Throat’ actor Harry Reems as a police officer in the less than exciting climax.
Magnificent Butcher (1979)
Directed by Yuen Woo-ping and Sammo Hung
Written by Dang Geng-san and Jing Wong
Kung-fu chaos, mistaken identities, brotherly love, drunken beggars, ham hocks… Magnificent Butcher has all this and so much more. Sammo Hung plays Butcher Wing (Lam Sai-wing) a student of the hero Wong Fei-hong who gains the wrath of the vicious 5 Dragon School lead by Master Kao, who has just mastered the mighty Cosmic Palm.
The plot is great but and features some great moments (most belonging to the Beggar played by Fan Mei-sheng). But this is a Kung-fu flick and I can honestly say, the fight scenes are worth the price of admission. Sammo Hung (who looks overweight but really isn’t) moves with such surprising grace and agility. Watching him switch styles and dance around his opponents is a sight to behold.
The flick is shot well and the production and costume design is just awesome. But who are we kidding, this movie is all about the fights and each one is infused with character and story (replacing words with punches and kicks). If you have any interest in kung-fu films, or if you think that anything Jet Li stars in (nothing against Jet Li, I think he’s great) is the height of kung-fu cinema, I suggest you check out Magnificent Butcher.
Near Dark (1987)
Directed by Kathryn Bigelow
Written by Kathryn Bigelow and Eric Red (who also wrote The Hitcher (1986))
Starring Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen, Tim Thomerson, Adrian Pasdar
This movie is fantastic! It’s a ‘vampire’ movie… only it isn’t. The word vampire is never used and almost every vampire convention is either tossed away or turned on its ear. I would also consider it a very loose western.
The story concerns Caleb (Pasdar) who becomes part of a ‘family’ of people who are infected with a ‘blood disorder’. Ok, you know what, for the sake of argument and saving myself from having to continue writing around the word… they’re vampires (although they aren’t really vampires… this is just for the sake of conversation).
Caleb get’s bitten Mae played by the beautiful Jenny Wright. Once in the fold, Caleb is taken in as hostage then as a part of the family. What follows is a road trip where the family escapes the law in their winnebago and Caleb tries to escape and reclaim his humanity.
What makes this film shine is the script (with some of the greatest dialog you will ever hear) and the performances by the cast (who were largely taken from Aliens (Paxton, Henriksen and Goldstein)). There is not a bad line of dialog in the entire film. Even cult/schlock superstar Tim Thomerson turns a believable performance as Caleb’s concerned father.
Also worth noting are two of the films most memorable set pieces. The first is when the ‘family’ descends up a dive bar and claim it as their own. The second is a police raid turned shoot out at a cheap motel that is as tense as it is blood soaked and action packed. This is what a good shootout should aspire to be.
You should run out to the store now and buy this flick, I guarantee it will get played many many times.
Don’t Look in the Basement (1973)
Directed by S.F. Brownrigg
Written by Tim Pope (who also directed The Crow: City of Angels and the music video ‘Safety Dance’ by Men Without Hats (youtube it, it’s hilarious))
Starring Rosie Holotik, Annabelle Weenick
This schlocky, piece of sleaze is worth the price of admission if only to see how bad it is, granted there are some cool bits and pieces. The set up is simple, an insane asylum is run b y a new age doctor who lets his patients live out there compulsions in a controlled environment, when he is killed in an accident, the asylum’s rule is handed over to the head nurse (or is she?)
When a sexy new nurse (played by playboy playmate Rosie Holotik) arrives, the status quo is changed and patients start ending up, mutilated or dead. What makes this flick watchable is the performances by the patients, each one is certifiably crazy and a joy to watch. The camera work is also worth noting, although I’m not sure if it is inspired or ’so bad it’s good’
If you do want to seek out this movie, it is also titled as The Forgotten.
The Hit (1984)
Directed by Stephen Frears (High Fidelity, My Beautiful Laundrette, The Queen)
Written by Peter Prince
Starring Terrence Stamp, John Hurt, Tim Roth
This brilliant British character study also doubles as a meditation/lamentation on the nature of death. Of course that is an over complication of the plot (or is it?). Terence Stamp is Willie Parker, a British gangster who testifies against his friends. 10 years later, John Hurt (with Tim Roth in tow) come to kill him.
Terence Stamp owns this movie! His demeanor throughout the film is like a slap in the face, his reaction to the situation around him is 180 degrees opposite what you would expect. Hurt is frightening as the stone faced, world weary assassin and Roth is energetic, slightly stupid and all around youthful as the upstart criminal on his first ‘job’.
The screenplay by Peter Prince is an exercise in style and shows a careful balancing act whereby each character is equal in the eyes of the viewer. Terence Stamp may be the good guy, but one could argue that John Hurt is less of a villain and more of a man stuck between doing a job he doesn’t want and the wrath of his employers. This flick is definitely worth tracking down!
The Boys From Brazil (1978)
Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner (Planet of the Apes, Patton, Papillon)
Written by Heywood Gould (who also co-wrote the Rolling Thunder) from the novel by Ira Levin
Dr. Josef Mengele, Hitler Clones, Gregory Peck vs. Laurence Olivier, Steve Guttenburg, Rosemary Harris (Aunt May from the Spider-Man films) looking gorgeous, Blood Thirsty German Shepherds, Nazi War Criminals… do any of these things sound entertaining to you? If so than The Boys From Brazil is the flick for you.
Peck plays Mengele, who unfurls a plans to clone Hitler. Peck plays Ezra Lieberman an aging Nazi hunter who stumbles upon Mengele’s plot. What follows is a great thriller with plenty of great moments and a truely mesmerizing performance by Jeremy Black (who plays 5 different roles in the film), it’s sad that he chose to leave film for the stage. Peck is terrifying and terrifically scene chewing.
The film is based upon the book of the same name, written by Ira Levin who has written the novels, The Stepford Wives, Rosemary’s Baby, Sliver… I think every book he has written has been turned into a movie. The direction by the great Franklin Schaffner is great and every scene plays pitch perfectly.
I highly recommend this flick, if you see it in a store buy it immediately!
Werewolves on Wheels (1971)
Directed by Michel Levesque
Written by David M. Kaufman and Michel Levesque
Starring Steve Oliver, Severn Darden and Billy Gray (of Father Knows Best)
Man-O-Man is this film a piece of work. One of the best ‘worst’ movies you will ever see. Made in the ‘Bikesploitation’ years post Easy Rider, this gem combines so many different elements to make it worth watching at least once. The acting isn’t that bad for a B-Movie and the cinematography on the driving scenes are great. The gore is passable though the scares are non-existent. The plot follows a bike gang that runs a fowl
of a Satan worshiping cult. What follows is a head scratching exercise in schlock. What I love about this flick is that it is a microcosm for the Nixon era politics… with Werewolves, Satanists, Bikers, Booze and Bongs. Besides where else are you going to hear such classic lines as
“Somebody’s controlling the vibes!”
and
“That’s the meanest son of a bitch I ever knew in my life. He didn’t have a kind bone in his body and not a clean thought in his mind.”
btw, the DVD release of the flick has a really good commentary track with the director.
What Have You Done to Solange? (1972)
(DVD).jpg)
Directed by Massimo Dallamano
Written by Massimo Dallamano and Bruno Di Geronimo
Dallamano was the cinematographer for “A Fist Full of Dollars” and “For a Few Dollars More”
What a great great great giallo film. I swear that parts of this film teeter on soft core. The plot appears at first to be your standard slasher story but it is so much more. First off, Catholic school girls are being killed by someone dressed as a priest. Second, they are killed by being stabbed in their vaginas. Did I mention that these school girls spend their free time seducing older men?
This flick just rocks on so many levels. It has the slasher element but also this great mystery. I mean one look at the titular character and you just need to know exactly what happened to her. Also the soundtrack by Ennio Morricone kicks fucking ass!
Viva Maria! (1965)
Directed by Louis Malle
Written by Louis Malle and Jean-Claude Carriere
Starring Jeanne Moreau and Brigitte Bardot
SEE THIS MOVIE! It may be the most fun you can have in 2 hours. Moreau and Bardot play women named Maria who at the beginning of the flick invent the striptease and at the end of the film have liberated a county. There are a million great moments in this flick… some of my favorites are the circus magician using his trained doves to drop grenades on people and the priests attempting to extract confessions from the Maria’s by using ancient torture equipment (none of which seems to work). I’m glad you took the time to stop by but stop reading now and go get a copy of Viva Maria!
Dead Heat (1988)
Directed by Mark Goldblatt
Written by Terry Black
Starring Treat Williams as Roger Mortis and Joe Piscopo as Doug Bigelow
Mark Goldblatt is an editor who has worked on T2 and Armageddon.
Terry Black is brother to Shane Black (who wrote Lethal Weapon, Monster Squad, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang…) Terry is a member of Mensa
Lady: “Hey you’re hurt!”
Roger: “Lady I’m fucking dead.”
This is an awesome movie. It’s a B movie schlock fare but it has some great performances (including a cameo by Vincent Price, who looks worse for wear here). It’ll never win any awards but if you ever want to watch something fun I reccomend this flick… I mean come on, it’s about Zombie Cops!!!!!!
Fritz the Cat (1972)
Directed by Ralph Bakshi
Written by Ralph Bakshi and R. Crumb
Starred Skip Hinnant as the voice of Fritz.
I loved the frank and lurid tale that was spun. I like the line “I killed the John” when Fritz shoots the toilet.
